Quarter-life Crisis in Action
So, this past Saturday night, I attended the Emmanuel College formal, held at the Commerce Civic Center. I had a blast, but the quarterlife crisis thing was in full bloom. First of all, there were only 10 people present (including myself) from the faculty and staff. Five of us were from Student Life, two were professors, one was a department secretary, one was the President of the College, and one was his wife. Quite an illustrious group, eh? Well, shortly after dinner and the crowning of Miss Emmanuel (they don't do a pageant anymore...just interviews and student voting), all but one professor and four Student Lifers had gone home. That left just five of us to fill the requisite responsible adult roles for the event.
Many of you (all of you?) who read this blog attended EC and, at one time or another, probably went to a formal. Back then, there was dinner followed by a program of some sort...a comedian, a murder mystery, etc. If you wanted to dance in those days, you had to go to an after-party somewhere, namely the Joe Adams Building in Royston or a fellow student's house. Welcome to a new day! This formal actually featured dancing as one of the main events. There was a live band that played oldies music for a few hours and the dancing never stopped. Or, I should say, I never stopped dancing.
The four of us from Student Life (all females) got out on that dance floor and didn't leave until the band stopped playing! Here we are, all in our mid-twenties or early thirties, out there cuttin' a rug like we're at the senior prom. Often, I would look around and realize we were the only ones doing so. About every third song was a slow one, and at that point, the four of us would move to the sideline, keeping our eyes peeled for students who were dancing just a little too close. At one point, I almost hyperventilated when I realized what I had become. It hit me like a ton of bricks that I was one of the adults. I was there to be responsible. I was there to keep the peace. I was there to make sure no one danced "suggestively." I was what I had always dreaded...a chaperone.
How did this happen? When did I grow up? I know for a while there I was growing up, but when did that transition into being grown up?
I assume it happened right around the time I got married (when I was 20). Or maybe when I graduated college (when I was 22). Or maybe just this past August (when I turned 25). I don't know exactly when it happened, but it definitely has. I no longer have the option to be a kid. I am an adult.
After Saturday night, I finally understand the phrase "recapturing your youth." I suppose that's what I was doing out there on the dance floor with my partners in crisis. We were dancing, being funny, and having a great time. And now I fear that the students were laughing the whole time, thinking how old we were to be acting like that.
The problem is I still feel so young. And, relatively speaking, I know I still am. But, seriously, I don't feel a whole lot different than I did when I was 18. I have more knowledge, more experience, hopefully more wisdom. But inside, I feel the same. I still want to act like a complete idiot when I'm out with my friends. I still want to have sleepovers and eat junk food and stay up too late talking. Am I now too old for that?
One of my biggest fears is that I have, or soon will, cross the threshold from "being cool" to "trying to be cool." And that, my friends, is terrifying to me. Because we all know those people who are trying to be cool. We've all seen those adults who really are trying to recapture their youth and hang with the kids. How desperate is that? I don't want to be that person.
Perhaps the solution to all of this crisis stuff is learning how to be quarterly-aged. Where is the balance between being youthful and aging?
Many of you (all of you?) who read this blog attended EC and, at one time or another, probably went to a formal. Back then, there was dinner followed by a program of some sort...a comedian, a murder mystery, etc. If you wanted to dance in those days, you had to go to an after-party somewhere, namely the Joe Adams Building in Royston or a fellow student's house. Welcome to a new day! This formal actually featured dancing as one of the main events. There was a live band that played oldies music for a few hours and the dancing never stopped. Or, I should say, I never stopped dancing.
The four of us from Student Life (all females) got out on that dance floor and didn't leave until the band stopped playing! Here we are, all in our mid-twenties or early thirties, out there cuttin' a rug like we're at the senior prom. Often, I would look around and realize we were the only ones doing so. About every third song was a slow one, and at that point, the four of us would move to the sideline, keeping our eyes peeled for students who were dancing just a little too close. At one point, I almost hyperventilated when I realized what I had become. It hit me like a ton of bricks that I was one of the adults. I was there to be responsible. I was there to keep the peace. I was there to make sure no one danced "suggestively." I was what I had always dreaded...a chaperone.
How did this happen? When did I grow up? I know for a while there I was growing up, but when did that transition into being grown up?
I assume it happened right around the time I got married (when I was 20). Or maybe when I graduated college (when I was 22). Or maybe just this past August (when I turned 25). I don't know exactly when it happened, but it definitely has. I no longer have the option to be a kid. I am an adult.
After Saturday night, I finally understand the phrase "recapturing your youth." I suppose that's what I was doing out there on the dance floor with my partners in crisis. We were dancing, being funny, and having a great time. And now I fear that the students were laughing the whole time, thinking how old we were to be acting like that.
The problem is I still feel so young. And, relatively speaking, I know I still am. But, seriously, I don't feel a whole lot different than I did when I was 18. I have more knowledge, more experience, hopefully more wisdom. But inside, I feel the same. I still want to act like a complete idiot when I'm out with my friends. I still want to have sleepovers and eat junk food and stay up too late talking. Am I now too old for that?
One of my biggest fears is that I have, or soon will, cross the threshold from "being cool" to "trying to be cool." And that, my friends, is terrifying to me. Because we all know those people who are trying to be cool. We've all seen those adults who really are trying to recapture their youth and hang with the kids. How desperate is that? I don't want to be that person.
Perhaps the solution to all of this crisis stuff is learning how to be quarterly-aged. Where is the balance between being youthful and aging?
posted by Michelle at 3:09 PM
8 Comments:
No one saw you as a chaperone (or Deana,Tashara,or Amy. We didn't even see,well, the much older EC faculty/staff as chaperones-we just figured they were there because they wanted to be,just like you were. It was exciting to see you and the girls dancing-it comforted us and told us it was definetely ok to be dancing,plus we learned some hot moves from you. You definetely shouldn't worry that we were laughing at you, it's more like we're jealous b/c we can't dance like you. The word old never came to any of our minds-we thought it was cool that you girls were dancing and not sitting around like OLD PEOPLE and being boring! See how that works. You're not one of those "trying to be cool" people, you just are cool. You don't try to hang with the "kids," we try to hang with you. And about the sleepovers and junk food-just let me know I'm game for that any time.
Who is this anonymous person who I love for thinking I'm cool???
How I would have loved to see you dancing at the formal. Girl, your hips can do things that I only wish mine could do! Now, if you get called into the President's office over your dancing, I suggest pretending that it was a move of the Holy Ghost. Then, immediately begin dancing like Melissa White at Amy's wedding! :)
By the way, you are overwhelming me with your blogs. I can't keep up, and I HAVE to read every word you type because you crack me up! You have seriously got to write for a magazine.
Ashleigh and Bird...you guys are so funny and supportive in such a weird, weird way! :) FYI, I was dancing very modestly (though I did have to hold back) and showed no cleavage whatsoever. I WAS a chaperone after all!
Ashleigh - I will try to slow down on the posts so you can keep up. I'm just totally addicted to this thing!!!
Bird, Ashleigh and Michelle--I am in tears laughing at your posts/comments. I can't believe there was actually dancing--I FOUGHT for that back in the day...a new era is dawning at EC....my gosh!!!
Michelle, you are by far one of THE coolest people I know. You are wise beyond your years...but you are culturally relevant as well....not a chance you will ever be seen as old in the eyes of this woman!
another male post
Thanks Jon and Barrett for representin' for the guys!! :)
And thank you, Jonathan, for the great compliment. I WISH I could write for a magazine!! Maybe this will be some sort of jumping off point for that. Who knows?
Dancing. Who would have ever thought that the days of the "reception" would be over... And for the record, Michelle, I agree with all above and reiterate that you are one of the coolest people I have ever met in my entire life and I count it an honor and priviledge to say that I know you!!! (even though I understand you crisis... I had one of my students ask me if I was 40 the other day... followed by the why aren't you married and have kids yet questions... It went something like this...Miss Fowler why aren't you married yet? My mom is only a couple years older than you...) Frightening isn't it. Granted this did come from a Franklin County Middle schooler who's mom was probably still in high school when she had them but it still adds to the "I'm getting old" phenomenon...
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